I Always Will.

We never went to the beach together,
but the sand between my toes reminds me of you.
We never shared ice-cream together,
but the rich and creamy taste reminds me of you.
We never flied a kite together,
but the soaring wind tangling my hair reminds me of you.

Do not get me wrong love,
for I am not in love,
I am melancholic and homesick
for the love that never was.
No, I am not in love,
I am melancholic and homesick
of the memory, of the doubt.

We never read a book together,
but the smell of crispy paper reminds me of you.
We never walked under the moon together,
but its peaceful glow reminds me of you.
We never said goodbye,
which is why I remember you.

You will always be the long forgotten whisper in the wind.
Your face behind my eyelids will be the light guiding my dreams.
But do not get me wrong love,
for I am not in love.
No, I never loved you,
but I always will.

Fairy Dust.

I am terrified to begin the rest of my life. I want to be like Peter Pan, I wish I could be a child forever. But I know I can't, I know it's impossible. How can I be a child if I have dreams and desires to accomplish? I want to meet Mr. Right. I want to meet love. I want to get married. I want to travel. I want to educate myself. I want to open my eyes and mind to the world. I want to be a doctor. I want to be a writer. I want children of my own. I want many things from life, but I also want to be myself. I'm afraid of losing who I am on the process of growing up. I'm afraid of forgetting where I come from and the people who have made me who I am. I'm afraid of tomorrow, of the uncertainty that makes tomorrow a dark and mysterious place. Will I be proud of who I will become? Will I be what I dream today? Will I forget my goals and principles in the way? As I get older, more questions build up in my mind, clogging my brain and leaving little room for imagination and childish creativity. There is no doubt... I am afraid of tomorrow, I am afraid of growing up, I am my own version of Peter Pan.

Tomorrow may be uncertain, but I am certain that I will never allow the child in me to fade away. Somehow, I will always be a little Peter Pan. I have my fears and writing to remind myself of who I am, who I've always been. All I need to survive the uncertainty of tomorrow is the magic of my dreams, and of course, a handful of sparkly fairy dust.